i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
