Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
