He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
