All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
your room smells of hookers.
And success
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
