At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
