i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
