Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize