why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
