Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
