Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Did I show you my penis last night?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
