I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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