not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
