I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
just found out that she named her cat after me.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
