But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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