I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
