i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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