Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
