At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
