We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
That accounts for only three of the penises
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
