Did you just see the Batmobile???
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
