he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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