Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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