I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
