My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
