question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
