ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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