Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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