So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
