Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
