We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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