Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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