seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
