May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
