Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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