i think i have herpe
just one?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
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