today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
