Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize