3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
