is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
