Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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