it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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