I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
