i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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