She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize