im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
