Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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