Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
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You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
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She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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