What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
