dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
