Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Who died my cat blue again?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
