For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
