there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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