Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
