were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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