My nipple is on Facebook.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
