Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
