i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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