Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just cropdusted the office
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
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she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
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Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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