i jhust puked up my retainher.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Randomize
