OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
